Bad backs and bad habits (Mar 2020)

Last week (end of February 2020) I was flat on my back – literally, having “done something nasty to my back” as I described it in emails cancelling work. After a couple of days I hobbled off to the physio, who asked If I had kept up the exercises from when I had done something similar a year ago. I asked her how patients tended to answer that question, and mostly they say no, as I did. This led me to reflect on how difficult it can be to change habits, in life and in work, even when we know we need to. 

 Leaders seeking coaching are often trying to change their habits at work. Maybe, like an increasingly achy back, they have gradually realised they are not being the best they can be. Maybe, in a “nasty” moment, they have received some critical feedback, seen a project fail, or been passed over for promotion. I’m sure at some stage you will all have tried to shift a habit at work, such as saying no to unimportant meetings, not getting into arguments over email, setting aside time to think, delegating more, properly listening to others, coaching rather than leaping in with a solution, or being more visible and approachable. 

 Identifying what we need to change is usually relatively straightforward, if we are honest with ourselves and pay attention to feedback. But making the change and sticking to the change is a lot harder. Even when not changing a habit is life threatening: in a study of over 7500 adults who had suffered a heart attack or stroke, Teo et al (2013) (1) found less than a fifth signed up to a cardio rehabilitation programmes, nearly a quarter of men made no lifestyle changes, and just under a half managed sustained improvements in either smoking, diet, or exercise. 

 So how can we improve the odds when changing habits?

 Consider a leader trying to properly listen to others. When asked what they are doing that works against that goal they (may) admit they check their phone when others are talking, they interrupt if someone is talking for more than a minute, they leap in with a solution the second they hear a problem, and they fidget in a way that signals impatience. Even though they’ve got a written goal to listen more, reminders in their calendar, and even a post it on their laptop saying “LISTEN!”

 Kegan, Kegan, and Lehay in ‘Immunity to Change’ (2) argue these apparently contradictory behaviours will be driven by an unconscious or hidden goal: if the leader imagined themselves truly listening, they may confess they are scared it would take too long, that someone else has would have a better idea, that their expertise and experience wouldn’t be valued. They may face up to the realisation that deep down they are committed to “keeping their reputation as the most knowledgeable in the room”. This hidden commitment will be fuelled by a Big Assumption (Kegan et al’s language), such as “I assume I must feel I’m an expert to feel good”. We all have similar Big Assumptions, lurking in our unconscious from our upbringing and experience, which when we surface them seem logically wrong, but somehow they resonate with us. 

 Mapping out our goals, contradictory behaviours, hidden commitments, and Big Assumptions help us notice when, where, and with whom our hidden goals take over. This then enables us to test out Assumptions, in safe and small ways, that will gradually shift them or at least reduce the amount they take over and drive contradictory behaviour. For example our leader may read a biography of someone who is a very happy non-expert, or find someone who easily admits their lack of expertise to learn from, or volunteer for a project (maybe outside of work at first) that they do not have expertise in and try voicing that inexperience. 

 Whilst Kegan et al (2009) argue small, safe experiments should test our Big Assumptions, the Do Something Different (3) method developed by professors Pine and Fletcher suggests any small changes will improve our behavioural flexibility and so our chances of habit change. Based on research that people with higher behavioural flexibility tend to have lower BMI, Pine and Fletcher developed a programme of daily text nudges that boosted behavioural flexibility and promoted weight loss. Nudges are as simple as reading a different newspaper, listening to a different radio channel, sitting in a different seat, or picking up a piece of litter. Programmes have also been developed for the working world in areas such as innovation, wellbeing, and inclusion – but using the same type of nudges. As Pine says, “this isn’t thinking about the change, or making the case for change, it’s doing”. 

 As well as the ‘Immunity to Change’ and ‘Do Something Different’ approaches I would add in my personal recommendations from coaching leaders trying to change habits, along with a host of other priorities:  

·      Once you have realised you need to change a habit try out a small change that day or at the latest the day after. Much as reflection and planning are important in development, sometimes they become an excuse for putting things off.

·      Tell people you trust what you are trying to change, and ask them to let you know when they do, or don’t see a change. A small word of encouragement, or a quick word of warning, can help keep you on track.

·      Get coaching support from peers or a coach, to help you identify low risk situations for initial changes, celebrate successes, and encourage you as you then continue the changes in higher risk situations. 

·      Give yourself 3 months. In a study of students trying to turn a healthy eating, drinking, or exercise activity into a daily habit Lally et al (2011) (4) found a median time of 66 days for self-reporting of habit formation, although there was a large range of responses. So with pressures of organisational life I would suggest 3 months gives a fair chance. 

 As the Teo et al (2013) study highlights habit change is hard, so expect new approaches to feel a bit uncomfortable or clumsy to begin with, and don’t be too hard on yourself in moments of failure – just keep going with small changes every day and in a few months you will notice your different behaviour. 

1.     Teo, K., et al. (2013). Prevalence of a healthy lifestyle among individuals with cardiovascular disease in high-, middle- and low-income countries. Journal of the American Medical Association, 309(15), 1613-1621.

2.     Kegan, R., Kegan, L. L. L. R., & Lahey, L. L. (2009). Immunity to change: How to overcome it and unlock potential in yourself and your organization. Harvard Business Press.

3.     Pine, K. and Fletcher, B. (2014). Time to shift brain channels to bring about effective changes in health behaviour. Perspectives in public health, 134 (1), 16.

4.     Lally, P., Wardle, J., & Gardner, B. (2011). Experiences of habit formation: a qualitative study. Psychology, health & medicine, 16 (4), 484-489.